*opens blank tab* yes mom im doing my homework leave me alone dont you trust me at all
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
do ur squats
eat ur vegetables
wear red lipstick
dont let boys be mean to u
"If looks could kill" they can kill, mine killed my social life
ughuhgufh you know that feeling where you want someone SO BAD like not even in a sexual way like you just want to touch their skin and hug them and feel their warmth and smell their scent and feel how soft their hair is and look into their eyes and hear their voice and soak in their presence like it’s physically impossible to have them by your side but you need it so bad like you just want them to be yours you want them physically there for you